| Dear Matthew,
I could write a medical story about you, but instead I thought I would just write to you - about the story of you and me, and our first three weeks together in hospital.
This time last year I was singing Christmas songs to you and hanging up your stocking because even though you had not yet arrived, you already had a name and a special place in Mummy's heart. A few weeks later on a clear sunny day, you were born at the North West Hospital.
We told all our family and friends the good news and said goodnight to you as you slept peacefully in the hospital nursery.
Sometimes life is unfair my darling one. During the night you had trouble breathing. Dr Harvey woke Mummy at 4.30am in the morning to say he was taking you in an ambulance to the Royal Brisbane Hospital.
Mummy's heart broke into a million pieces. She rang Daddy who jumped in his old Ute and raced the ambulance over to the other hospital. He was there waiting for you and never left your side, as Dr Whight, the heart doctor, worked out what the trouble was.
Over the next few days, Daddy held your little hand and read stories to you from the Brambly Hedge Book.
It was a terribly sad time for Mummy because you were three days old before we could be together again after nine months of being stuck together! But it was the most precious moment ever, when we finally had our very first cuddle. Even though you were very sick, you knew it was me and you snuggled in and had Mummy's milk for the first time.
Matthew, sometimes life is full of good fortune. Our family is forever blessed because there is a special place at the Prince Charles Hospital, where children with heart problems have a chance at getting better.
A great man called Dr Jalali did a big operation and completely fixed the trouble with your heart, so that you will not be sick again. I could tell you lots of things about your operation, but instead I think I will tell you about a few special times we had together in hospital.
The night before your operation, Daddy and I got to hold you for the first time without any tubes on you. It was a special night as we cuddled you and took you for a little walk around the ward. Daddy gave you your first bath in a great big stainless steel sink. You were so tiny in the big sink but you floated around, happy to be free in the water. Mummy dressed you up in your own clothes and told you to be a brave little man.
After your operation, you slept for a long time. While you were asleep, Mummy read stories to you and told you about everyone in our family, including old Duke the Dog. What great news it was, when Dr Jalali told us that he had fixed your heart, and that you would soon be better!
I wonder if Dr Jalali knows that he also mended Mummy's broken heart, without even touching it. Over the next week, you and I both started to feel a lot better. We looked around us and saw some very special people.
The nurses took great care of you and gave you lots of love too ý especially Nicky who was very kind and who called you "chickadee".
Audrey the Chaplain said prayers for you, and told me that you were like a rose bud, because you had brought our family close together around you. Father Gerard christened you a few days before your operation. He was very pleased to see you going to church at the hospital just 2 weeks later! Lyndall the Social Worker was also a special friend to us during that time.
You even met your first little friends, Conrad and Thomas, who were also in hospital with you, and whom I often think of. I remember taking you for your first walk in a hospital pram, with Conrad and his Mum. Soon it was time for us to finally have a room of our own. When all the lights were off, Mummy sneaked you out of your hospital bed and under the blanket with her. It was a secret cuddle - sometimes we still have secret cuddles when you are asleep.
The best moment of all, however, was when after three weeks, Daddy, you and I, walked out the hospital doors and headed home. It was a cool, rainy afternoon. It's funny, but sometimes I can still feel the breeze on my cheek, and smell the sweet rain falling around us that afternoon.
Matthew, sometimes life is full of grace, because now it is Christmas again, and you are here with us! The year has danced by with treasured days of watching you grow. But not a day has gone by that I have not thought of something from our first three weeks together.
For every memory of fear and sadness, there is one that reminds Mummy of how grateful she is for the team of heart specialists, for your wonderful Daddy, our loving family and friends, and most of all for you!
May Santa and the year ahead be kind to you, my brave little man.
Mummy
December 2003 |
